I've been keeping journals since I was in the 3rd grade and I'm so glad to share some of my most intimate life moments with you here! Here, you'll find inspirational stories of clients, my journey as a wife and first-time mother and other adventures I have that makes my world go 'round. So please, sit back, grab some coffee ( or my personal favorite, a good ol' fashioned Arnold Palmer!) and enjoy exploring my latest work! Thanks for stopping by and happy reading!
So we’re having a baby!!! I am going to be…a father!! Even on black and white, it feels weird to even read. Now don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that we are pregnant. But at the same time, as a husband, you get a little nervous. You slowly realize that you are going to be responsible for another life. A little person will be your new alarm clock for a couple of years!!! Throughout all the excitement that goes with letting family and friends know, in your quiet moments you may experience phases of doubt. I look forward to this new chapter that God is allowing Sachel and me to embark on, but if I had to be totally honest with you all, I’m scared as hell. So allow me to take over my GROWN baby’s blog to vent a little bit. That’s right, here’s another blog from the Man Cave!!!
So here’s a little secret about myself. I’ve been daydreaming about being a Father since I was a Freshmen in college. I wondered what type of parent I would be? What will the child be like, his or her voice, or even their interests. How will we bond? Will they like me?
Being a guy, we have this fantasy of raising the next Derek, Kobe, Deion, Tiger or Serena. If you notice, I’m hoping for a particular gender in the first 4 names??? And I would be lying if I say that I am not going to be that father in the referees ear at the games, or the father in the front row of a recital with the camera cheering their little one on. As much as I may want my child to pursue sports, I don’t plan on being that parent who forces something down their throat. I’m going to be proud to call them mine no matter what they choose to accomplish in this life. I guess at the end of all the worrying, you just want to be there for them. No matter what, you want them to know that no matter what it is that they decide to do in life, their mother and father will be in their corner.
As a child growing up, thats what I wanted from my father. I was an active kid who loves sports, and was trying to playing everything that had ball attached to the end of it. But due to circumstances outside of my control, he was unable to see any of those games from my pee wee days, middle school, or my varsity years in high school. But most importantly, he didn’t see his boy suit up for a college football game for the first time. I know that he was watching from up above, but I would’ve have paid good money to see his face light up when my name was announced. And thought it’s been 10 years since my college football years, I still look back at them like “Man, I wish Terry Harris could’ve been there.”
There are times where I doubt myself. I want to be the kind of father whose children run to him for advice on just about any and everything. I want to fix their every concern, I want them to never have to stress about anything. I know that’s humanly impossible, but I want their lives to be better than mine. I’ve had the pleasure of being mentored by some extraordinary men of God who have taught me on being the leader of this household….a man who is led by God to lead his family in the right direction. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes on my own. Therefore to sum it up, I DON’T WANT TO FAIL AT THIS!!!
In the African American community, black men get a bad rep on not being present in their children’s lives. And for some, it’s unfortunate that it happens. But believe it or not, there are good men out there who support their children day in and day out. Being a member of the Armed Forces, I have run across hundreds of single fathers whose main mission is their children’s wellbeing. However, that’s not what we are known for.
As of today, we are at 18 weeks…almost at the halfway point. At this point, I am ready to know what we are having. Only because I need to know how to go about planning for the little one’s arrival. If it’s a boy, AWESOME!!!!! THANK YOU LORD!!! But if its a girl…. It just means that I will have to exercise my 2nd amendment right to the fullest! You see, I’ve been the only boy on my side of the family. THAT WAS 30 YEARS AGO!!! And it gets no better on Sachel’s side, she is the oldest of three girls! Now, it does have it’s perks being the only guy on both sides of the family. However, Teddy and I need some help. Lord knows my heart. I love all of them to the ends of earth, but its been a long road without any testosterone. So if you can hear me Father, please send us a family heir!!! Whew!!! That felt so good getting it out!!!
Now I know that God is in charge, and I am going to love that little one no matter what the sex is (it’s a Boy) and if I am given a daughter as my first child (it’s a Boy), she is going to daddy’s little angel. But God knows that I have been a good servant learning from all of these women in my young life, that the time has come to pass it down to a mini me. I even had a dream to confirm this!!!
Seriously, no matter what. Sachel and I plan on loving this miracle with every fiber of our being. This has been on interesting year. But all in all, a good one. We both come from single parent homes, and we saw how difficult it was for our mothers to raise us as well as our siblings. So, peanut, I promise that Daddy and Mommy will be there every step of the way with you. TOGETHER. Through the good, bad, ugly, and indifferent, your parents have your back!!! And we look forward to you arrival in 2017. I LOVE YOU!!!
Oh yea, Daddy will be the one with the Basketball in his hand. So be ready!!!
Hey a Father still can dream, Right???