Anyone who knows me will probably tell you one of my favorite words is no. I love it so much, I can say it in 9 different languages…and if you need me to sign it to you using American Sign Language, I got you covered there too. They will also probably tell you what I always tell them and encourage you to always remember: “Your no is a complete sentence. It doesn’t require an explanation and it’s not up for debate. PERIOD.” The truth is there is something liberating about a well-placed “no.” On the surface, it’s a simple two-letter word, but below the surface, you’ll see its power lies in its ability to create boundaries, preserve peace, and foster growth. As we all embark on a season of new beginnings—whether after divorce, loss, an unexpected life transition, or simply just committing to being better in this new year—learning to say no can be transformative.

Because here’s the thing friend: your no isn’t about what you’re walking away from. It’s about what you’re running toward. It’s less about rejection and more about alignment—aligning your life with God’s will and His best for you.

You’re doing a great work. Don’t stop now.

As God continues to teach me about the importance of boundaries in ALL areas of my life, He keeps bringing me back to the story of Nehemiah. By the time I get to chapter 6, Nehemiah is in the middle of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem—a huge task requiring ALL of his focus and determination. And as he’s fully operating in his purpose and doing the thing God tasked him to do….here come these raggedy guys trying to distract him and pull him away from his mission by any means necessary. And what is Nehemiah’s response? “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down…” (Nehemiah 6:3)—basically, “Nah. I’m good. I’ve got something more important to focus on than stopping my work and coming to meet with you.” The word goes on to say the men came back four different times, and each time, Nehemiah gave them the same answer.

As I sit with this story, what I love about Nehemiah is that his no wasn’t random. It wasn’t a no just for no’s sake. It was intentional. He knew that saying yes to distractions would mean saying no to his God-given mission. And isn’t that something we all face: Distractions (that can sometimes come dressed as fantastic opportunities), obligations, and pressures that threaten to pull us away from what really matters?

Your no is not about being difficult—it’s about being faithful. It creates space for you to focus on the work God is doing in and through you. Whether it’s saying no to overcommitment, toxic relationships, or even internal pressures to be everything to everyone, your no allows God’s yes to take root in the soil of your heart so you can truly bloom into the person He created you to be.

So what are some ways you and I both can fully embrace our no?

1. Seek God’s Guidance. Before making decisions, take time to pray and ask for wisdom. Not only does He tell us in James 1:5 that He gives wisdom generously if we ask for it, but in Jeremiah 29:12-14, we see that when we call on the Lord and pray to Him, He will hear us and listen to us…that when we seek Him with ALL our heart, we WILL find Him. When you understand where God is taking you, your no will have more clarity and will not be easily swayed because it’s coming from a place of discernment, not impulse.
   
   
2. Don’t lose sight of the Vision. What has God called you to focus on in this season? Is it deepening your faith or healing from past trauma? Learning the art of surrender, becoming disciplined in your finances, or being more present with your children? Whatever He’s calling you to, let those priorities guide your yes and no. In Nehemiah 6, another man tries to convince Nehemiah to go and hide by telling him some men are trying to kill him. Nehemiah responds by saying “I realized God had not sent him because of the prophecy he spoke against me.”
   
   The greatest harm our enemy can cause is to intimidate us into abandoning our responsibilities and push us toward sin. When we seek God’s guidance, get clear on His vision for us and focus on it, we’re able to immediately recognize when something isn’t from God and respond boldly with our no. Every no, rooted in God’s will, is a yes to something better He has waiting for you. So don’t be afraid to say no to the things that drain you and blur your focus.
   
   
3. Release the Guilt. Saying no can sometimes feel selfish…especially if you’re a recovering people pleaser like me, and used to putting others first. But here’s the thing: boundaries are biblical. They’re not luxuries…they are necessities. Even Jesus, during His ministry, took time to withdraw and rest. You and I are not called to do everything. We are called to be faithful in what God has given us to steward. That means your no is declaration that you trust Him to fill in the gaps and meet your needs and the needs of everyone else. It’s an act of faith, acknowledging that you don’t have to do it all because He is your all. The only thing God wants from us is our yes…and saying no to others so we can give it to Him, is NOTHING to feel guilty about.
   
   
4. Practice Saying No Gracefully. Your no doesn’t have to be nasty and rude. It can be kind and firm. Proverbs 16:24 says “Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the body.” Try saying phrases like, “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t commit to that right now,” or “That sounds dope, but I need to prioritize something else at the moment.” A gracious no will always leave room for respect, love, and understanding.
   

During your quiet time with the Lord, I encourage you to reflect on these questions:

And as we continue to walk the path God has for us in 2025, I’d like to say A Prayer for Wisdom in Saying No:

Father, first we come to You humbly asking for your forgiveness. Please forgive us Lord God for saying yes to people and things when we should have said no. Forgive us for the times we’ve spread ourselves too thin and become distracted. Thank You for being a God who shows us grace and for being a God who values rest, boundaries, and purpose. Help us to seek Your wisdom in every decision and to embrace the power of saying no when it aligns with Your will for our lives. Father, You say in Your word that you have not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. So God whenever fear tries to creep into our thoughts and sway us into a yes that is not meant for us, give us the courage to set boundaries with grace and clarity, trusting that each no makes room for Your yes. Watch over us this week Lord God and continue to make us stronger in you.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Friend, remember: your no isn’t a closing door—it’s an open invitation to walk unapologetically into God’s purpose for your life. So be bold, be gracious, and trust that God is working through every boundary you set and every no you speak. You got this.

xoxoxoxoxoxo,