It has

been a minute since I’ve written a blog post for Wedding Wednesdays, but I had to take a moment to talk about the importance of picking the right dream team and to give a well-deserved shout out to my MVPs.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog post about my process of selecting my bridesmaids and since then I’ve learned a few lessons along the way through experience and conversations with other brides that may be helpful to you:

 

1. LET IT GO!!!

..And in case you were wondering…Yes, I was singing that in my Elsa voice. Fellow brides…LISTEN. TO. ME.

You can’t do it all yourself!

Throughout out this entire planning process, my controlling side has really come out. I’m sure Ethan is laughing as he reads this, but yes I admit: I can be a bit of a control freak. But I’ve had to learn to let it go or else I will stress myself and everyone around me. If not for Tammy, Candice and Felicia, I probably would have LOST MY MIND by now. But these three women have kept me sane, organized and super DUPER calm. Seriously…I LOVE THEM!!! With that being said, don’t be afraid to delegate. Remember, you picked the all-star team of bridesmaids for a reason. Let them help you. Let them stress about the little things and tag team the big things with your fiance’. You are never alone in this process.

2. BE REASONABLE. 

Dear bride,

I hate to break this to you, but

This is NOT ALL about you.

Weddings are expensive. When picking things such as attire, bridal shower venues and activities, keep in mind the costs you’re asking of your party. Be considerate and BE REASONABLE.

I’m so grateful that this hasn’t been an issue so far, but if your bridesmaids come to you and confide in you that things are becoming too much, reconsider some of the expenses. And if you can, talk it over with your groom and see if you have room in your budget to help ease some of their financial burdens. You don’t have to kill your lavish dreams, but these ladies are your BEST LADIES. You want them to have just as much fun on that day as you are.

 

3. EVERYONE WILL SUPPORT YOU DIFFERENTLY .

This has probably been the hardest lesson for me to learn. Call me crazy, but I believe the job of a good bridesmaid is identical to that of a good friend. She should be there with encouragement, comfort, emotional support, and, at this stage of your life, a willingness to tie a ribbon or two, plan an event and help with seating charts. However, it’s important to understand and come to peace with the simple fact that not everyone will pull the same amount of weight.

And you know what? That’s ok. While some people will support you in the big ways, there’s something to be said about the ladies who support you in the small ways. The big things are great, but those little things matter as well. If, however, one of your bridesmaids is simply not doing her part, it’s important that you be honest with her and clearly communicate your needs. She may have issues herself and think your expectations of her are unreasonable. Clear the air and figure out how the best way to move forward. If she is unable to continue as a bridesmaid, maybe consider placing her in a less stressful role in the wedding. It’s never easy, but good friends will understand the decisions you have to make and  people who’ve turned out not to be such good friends are better weeded out, anyway.

4. AND ABOVE ALL ELSE…BE. GRATEFUL.

Remember while this is your wedding, your wedding is NOT THEIR LIFE. Between their full time jobs, families and other commitments, your bridesmaids do have a life outside of supporting you. Be grateful for everything they’re doing and thank them openly. We as women love to feel appreciated, so even if they’re not pulling all the weight you may want them to pull, recognize what they ARE doing for you and let them know you appreciate them.

A little love will always go a long way. 🙂

With that, I wanted to personally thank everyone who has helped me along this journey. Especially my mommy, sisters and my Big 3!! They’re not all pictured here, because everyone is spread out across state lines but seriously, you ladies are AMAZING and I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Also, Ethan and I are so honored to be featured TODAY in High-In-Style Magazine!! In addition to sharing our FAVORITE images from Amanda Hedgepeth Photography, we talk a little bit about this 20-year-dance we’ve been doing and what we do to keep the light in our relationship shining bright!!! Click here to read more!! 🙂 

 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,