There was a time when I didn’t even realize I was isolating myself. In the early months of my separation and divorce, I withdrew—not because I wanted to be alone, but because I felt like I had to be. The weight of guilt, shame, and embarrassment sat so heavily on my shoulders that the thought of facing people, even those who loved me, felt unbearable. I wasn’t the one who initiated the divorce, yet I carried so much blame in my heart. I thought if I stayed hidden, I could avoid the judgment and whispers, real or imagined.

But y’all…isolation is SO dangerous. The longer I sat in it, convincing myself that no one understood me—that I was better off alone, that my struggles were mine to carry in silence—the deeper I sank. And that’s exactly where the enemy wanted me:

Alone. Vulnerable. Drowning in my own thoughts.

So I hid. I hid behind my smile, behind the routine of showing up, and when people asked how I was doing? “I’m good!” I said it so much, I almost believed it myself. But the truth? I was anything but good.

Scripture reminds us that, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), and I’m fully convinced that truth extends far beyond marriage. Whether we are married, divorced, widowed, or waiting, we’re ALL created for community…for heart to heart connections, for doing life with others who can lift us up when we are too weak to stand on our own.

Eventually, I found my way to a small group at church. Hesitant at first, I forced myself to show up. And then, something beautiful happened—I met women who understood my pain, who had walked similar paths, who didn’t judge but instead embraced me. They saw me in ways I desperately needed. That one step led to another, and before I knew it, I wasn’t just part of a small group—I was leading one. Through that group, I met one of my very best friends and built lifelong relationships with women who still stand beside me today. God’s design for community brought healing I didn’t even know I needed.

The Dangers of Isolation

When we isolate ourselves during difficult seasons, we unknowingly open the door to several dangers:

1. Increased Vulnerability to Spiritual Attacks
   When we’re alone, our thoughts can spiral. The enemy loves to feed us lies—”You’re unworthy. You’re a failure. No one cares about you. You are damaged goods…who is going to want you?” I heard them all during this season. And sometimes, if I’m honest, I still hear them. But without Godly voices speaking truth into our lives, it’s easy to start believing them.
2. Emotional and Mental Decline
   Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone—it’s about feeling unseen, unheard, and disconnected. When I withdrew, I thought I was protecting myself, but in reality, I was sinking deeper into sadness. The quiet felt safer than facing my pain, but it also became unbearable.
   
   I convinced myself that no one would understand, that my emotions were too heavy to place on anyone else. But that only made the weight heavier. The enemy whispers lies in isolation, feeding fear, anxiety, and hopelessness. And the longer we sit in that space, the harder it is to believe that joy, peace, and connection are possible again.
   
   God created us for connection, and without it, our emotional well-being suffers. We all need people who will sit with us in our pain, remind us of God’s truth, and pull us back into the light when we start slipping away.
3. Lack of Accountability
   When we isolate, we don’t have people around us to help keep us accountable. I am where I am today not only by the grace of God, but by the women who constantly pour into me and give me the strength to pour into others. They sharpen me, challenge me, and remind me of who I am when I forget. Without them, I wouldn’t be walking in the healing and purpose I have today. We convince ourselves that we can handle everything alone, but the truth is, we were never meant to. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us of this truth: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
   
   Isolation leaves us vulnerable, not only to spiritual attacks but also to our own unchecked emotions and decisions. Without accountability, we lean on our feelings rather than wisdom, and we miss the encouragement that helps us stay strong in faith. But when we have people who are willing to challenge us, pray for us, and remind us of God’s truth, we are strengthened. We need people who will pick us up when we fall and walk with us as we heal.
4. Missed Opportunities for Healing
   Unfortunately, I know this one all too well. When I withdrew, I missed out on the love and support that God had placed around me. I thought healing would come in solitude, that if I could just figure things out on my own, I’d be okay. But instead, my pain festered in the silence and I suffered way longer than I probably needed to.
   
   Healing often happens in the presence of others. When I finally allowed myself to be vulnerable, to speak my pain out loud, something shifted. The weight didn’t disappear overnight, but it became lighter. I saw glimpses of hope in the stories of others who had walked similar roads. I felt the strength of a friend’s prayer when my own words failed. God often uses people as vessels of His love and grace, but if we’re closed off, we miss the opportunity to experience that healing in ways we never expected.
5. A Harder Road to Restoration
   God calls us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), but if we’re isolating, no one knows what we’re carrying. I learned the hard way that healing in isolation is slow and lonely. The journey back to wholeness was filled with moments where I wished I had let people in sooner.

Restoration doesn’t just mean healing from pain—it means being made whole again. And sometimes, that wholeness is found in the people God places in our lives. When I finally allowed others to walk with me, I realized restoration wasn’t just about surviving—it was about thriving. Growth comes when we choose to step out, be seen, and allow others to walk alongside us in the process.

How to Combat Isolation

If you find yourself withdrawing, here are a few ways to step out of isolation and into the Godly community you need:

1. Be Honest About Where You Are
   Admit that you’re isolating. God can’t heal what we don’t reveal, friend. Acknowledge the pain, but don’t let it keep you stuck. Say it out loud. Journal it. Pray about it. Call a friend. Whatever it takes to break the silence. Healing starts with honesty.
2. Take the First Step, Even If It’s Small
   Join a small group, reach out to a trusted friend, or attend a Bible study. Sometimes, just being in the room is the hardest but most necessary step. Don’t wait until you feel “ready”—because let’s be real, you may never feel ready. Just take the step. God will meet you there.
3. Seek Out Safe, Supportive People
   I’m not advocating for you to blast your story on social media. The truth is, not everyone can be trusted with your story. But trust me…having a few trusted people who can pray with you, encourage you, and hold you up when you feel weak makes all the difference. Pray for discernment. Ask God to show you who those people are. And when He does, let them in.
4. Stay Connected Even When It Feels Uncomfortable
   Healing isn’t always comfortable, but community is necessary. Push through the discomfort and lean into relationships that point you to Jesus. Remember, no matter how hard it may feel in the moment, YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.
5. Pray for God to Lead You to the Right People
   God knows exactly who you need in your life. Ask Him to guide you to the friendships and community that will support you in your journey. He has a way of placing the right people in your life at the right time—sometimes in unexpected places. Stay open. Stay expectant. And trust that He’s working behind the scenes.

You Are Not Alone

If you’re in a season where isolation feels like the safest option, I encourage you to reconsider. God created us for connection, and there are people who want to walk with you, love on you, encourage you, and remind you of who you are in Christ. Don’t let the bondage of guilt and shame keep you from experiencing the life God created you for. Trust God with the pieces of your life…take the step, reach out, and allow Godly community to surround you. Healing and restoration are waiting on the other side.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

It’s easy to fall into the trap of aligning ourselves with people instead of with Christ. But the beauty of Godly community is that it doesn’t point us to one person—it always points us back to Jesus. We need each other, but even more than that, we need Him at the center of our relationships.

You don’t have to walk this road alone. Let’s do life together. And remember, if you ever need prayer or encouragement, I’m just a message away.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,