This past Sunday, I got re-baptized. Now, I’ve been trying for days to put my feelings into words, but the truth is, I’m not sure if I can. But I am really going to try.

Getting baptized was…probably one of THE most freeing things I’ve done in a long time.

Even though I got baptized as a child, I feel like this time as an adult is the first time. Maybe it’s because I didn’t fully understand back then why I was doing it or maybe it’s because I’ve done so much growing since then, but this decision had me all excited inside. Like…like I was rediscovering my first love, truly seeing Him in all of His splendor for the first time.

Truth is, I’d been going back and forth about doing this for a long time. I had been praying about it and the more and more I studied, the more I kept feeling this nudge…like my spirit was being led to do it. So when our church here in Florida, Destiny Worship Center, announced they were doing baptisms, I immediately signed up. But something about now, just felt…right. My faith in Jesus has always been a force in my life, but there have been times where it wasn’t my top priority. And over the course of this summer, He’s been showing me that without Him being and STAYING #1 in my life, nothing else can be right.

A lot has happened to me over the course of this summer and not all of it has been great. Heck, not all of it has even been good. I’ve spent wasted a lot of time of time trying to fix things in my own strength and little by little God has been breaking me down, pretty much laying me flat on my face so that I realize just how much I need Him. I’ve been craving him more and more in the past few months. And drawing closer and closer to Him has reminded me how lost I am without Him.

That’s why leading up to this day, I’ve been feeling so excited. I’ve been so ready to make this outward declaration because I feel so different on the inside. I’ve been praying for God to create in me a clean heart and finally,  finally I’m seeing that come to pass in my life. I look at the woman staring back at me in the mirror and she’s definitely not the woman I once knew.

When I went into that water, I recommitted my entire being to Him. This time, nothing was held back. I left all my anxiety, feelings of not being good enough, my guilt, shame, pain…fear of what might become…my need to prove my self-worth…I left all of it in that pool. I came out of that water so joyful, immediately overwhelmed with peace. And that makes me feel so…whew.

Y’all I’m excited. I’m excited for what lies ahead and I’m excited for what I left behind. To reaffirm my love for Jesus just…makes me feel so new. I pray that God continues to build me up brick by brick and that this new heart of mine will beat louder and stronger for Him.