I've been keeping journals since I was in the 3rd grade and I'm so glad to share some of my most intimate life moments with you here! Here, you'll find inspirational stories of clients, my journey as a wife and first-time mother and other adventures I have that makes my world go 'round. So please, sit back, grab some coffee ( or my personal favorite, a good ol' fashioned Arnold Palmer!) and enjoy exploring my latest work! Thanks for stopping by and happy reading!
Sachel always says “everyone has a story.” Well, I’m no blogger or writer, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to share mine.
So..where do I start?
I have known Sachel for almost 20 years now.
We met in summer camp…ironically a church summer camp. Instantly, I was attracted to her and I just had to find a way to talk to her.
Now I must have been 10 years old and I know some people may say to themselves: “Awww!!! That’s puppy love! It will eventually fade away.” Well… it hasn’t. I love this woman with every ounce of my existence. She has always been and continues to be the woman of my dreams. Since that hot summer day in Atlanta 19 years ago, our friendship has had its ups its downs. We’ve gone on our separate paths, lost touch for a while, but we always found ourselves making our way back into each other’s lives. That type of friendship and bond is rarely heard of nowadays.
I respect the woman that she has become and I love the fact that everything that we talk about has one thing centered around it: our relationship with our maker. Yes, she has her bad days, but when she does, I quickly remind her to look at what God has allowed her to see and experience thus far and that He has no intentions on preventing her from reaching her destiny.
When Sachel first came to me with the idea of featuring couples and people who have decided to wait until marriage, I thought it was a good idea. It’s a great way to highlight something that is hardly recognized in today’s society. She got me thinking about our relationship.When we decided together to set aside our sexual desires until we say “I do”, I was immediately on board.
But I haven’t always been this way.
In today’s society, most guys are praised for how many “notches” they have under their belt and are often ridiculed or teased if their number is lower than average. It’s as if someone set a particular number of how many women a man should sleep with before he is initiated into some invisible boy’s club.
For quite some time, that’s the way I thought. I believed that a man was not a full man until he lost his virginity. It didn’t matter if it was a one night stand, a committed relationship or a girl who he knew from around the way. As long as he lost his “card,” he was deemed a man in the eyes of others.
It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in college, when I realized that sleeping around with a wide variety of women before marriage can lead to a destructive path with relationships you will have in the future.
When I was in college, I took advantage of being actively involved in various organizations. Among the many things I was involved in, I was a member of the football and track team, the university choir and had the privilege of joining a fraternity. Needless to say, my face was constantly out there and people knew who I was. I dated girls, went to parties and did what I did.
I don’t regret a thing. I had fun in college. After all, college is an experience unlike any other. However, it did make it difficult to have a successful relationship with females. Because sex was involved, it was challenging to get to know women on a more personal level.
My biological father was not there to give me “the talk” as a young man. He passed my senior year of high school. So the conversation that every teenage boy wants to have with his father, I was unable to have. So, my pastor took me under his wing and mentored me, along with other young men that were members of the church.
I remember one particular conversation we were having about sex and this conversation was more awkward than any other convo that you can imagine having with a family member. It was with the pastor!! He wanted to know about our sex life because, according to him, he knew that we were having it!!! After everybody went around with their stories, he told us that we, as young men, should be careful who we choose to lay with. He told us that spirits are real and when you lay with someone, you not only connect with them physically or sexually, but you both exchange each other’s spirit as well. That conversation opened my eyes like never before.
I started to reflect on all the failed relationships that I had with ex-girlfriends and women in general.
Now Sachel will tell you I’m far from being perfect, which is why I wanted to share my story. When it comes to Sachel…like I said: she’s the woman of my dreams. She has been there for me through thick and thin. Because our relationship is rooted in God, it only felt right that she was the one that I gave my heart to and for the first time, I was in a relationship that wasn’t about sex. With her, I began a new journey.
Now…let’s be honest. I’m very much a man. So honestly, there are some days that are harder than most. Between you and me, those are the days where it’s a benefit that we don’t live in the same state. As much as I want to connect with her on that level, I much rather have a closer walk with my heavenly Father. So, I keep my eye on the big picture and find ways to stay focused.
This is why we both have things to keep us busy and put our energy into. For her, it’s photography. For me, it’s the gym. But while that’s all fine with us being 4,500 miles away, the real test comes when we visit one another.
Trust me when I say, it’s no easy task. No one said that it would be easy. It’s a journey…a process and it can’t be done overnight. It takes steady focus, staying disciplined and honoring your word.
For me, it all boils down to desire. Yes, I want to connect with her on that level but I desire a closer walk with my heavenly Father. I desire to be a better man for her in the process. I know, I’m not doing this just to please her. I’m not doing it just to feel good about myself. I do it to honor God. Not just so He will bless us…but so He will bless the generations that will come after us.
So that’s my little input on our journey. For those of you who have made this promise to God as well as to yourself, I salute you. For those of you who really haven’t given it much thought, it’s not too late. It never is. I challenge you and your loved one to try it. Now like we both said, refraining from sex before marriage is not any easy task, but I hope that you can find the willpower to overcome what your flesh craves and realize what God has ordained. American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker, Jim Rohn once said: “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
MAKE IT A HABIT TO PLEASE GOD!!!