Becoming a wife

is one of the most joyous experiences I have had. By no means has it been all rainbows and butterflies, but I wouldn’t trade the adventure Ethan and I share for anything! I’ve learned (and re-learned) a lot of lessons over the past year, but one of the biggest ones??? BALANCE.

Whether you’re a business owner, a mom or just a wife working outside of the home, maintaining balance between work and home can be a tricky lesson to learn. A couple of years ago, before Ethan and I were married, I lived in a completely different time zone. I had just started my business and was working a full-time job. It was a crazy stressful time, but because it was just me, I was able to adopt a schedule that worked for me and only me. Once I got married and moved to Alaska?? Yea….all that went out the window.

When you’re a new wife, all you want to do is spend with your new husband. You can never get enough of each other and you’re swimming in a pool of excitement because YOU ARE MARRIED. But when you’re a business owner, especially one that is just starting out, you have to…well, run a business. So how do you do one without neglecting the other? How do you enjoy your sweetheart without constantly thinking about the emails you have to answer? How do you focus on the session you have to edit without feeling guilty because you feel like you’re ignoring your spouse?  I’m by NO means a marriage expert, but here are five things I’ve began to do that I hope helps you master this tricky art of balance:

5.Include your spouse in on your business decisions.

It doesn’t matter if they’re physically part of the business or not. The truth is, they are involved by default. Now, I’m not saying I ask Ethan what I should post on Instagram or what my branding colors should be. I think we as business owners can handle that stuff. But decisions that can impact your marriage, such as buying that new camera lens or body that you want or going away for two weeks back to back because you want to attend amazing creative conferences, should probably be discussed.  Being on the same page about where you want to take your business and how it affects the goals you two have laid out for your family is crucial, so it’s best to have open communication about them and decide on these things together…as the team you are. 🙂 

4.Set Office Hours. 

And NO MATTER WHAT…STICK TO THEM! Taking the time to actually write out out what I need to accomplish, helps me to get a real sense of the work I have to do so that I can schedule my hours accordingly. When you set office hours, you will find that you will get your work done. Why? Because setting office hours means you’re also setting NON-office hours. And isn’t the whole point of learning the art of balancing your marriage and your business? Setting your office hours will help you stay focused on your priorities so that you can spend those non-office hours with family, friends or even yourself. Because let’s face it…we have to take care of ourselves too.

3.Have a date night.

Ethan is the biggest supporter of my business. Seriously, he’s always cheering me on and pushing me to be the best photographer I can be. However comma, as important as building my business is to me, nothing is more important than simply being present with my husband. That is why I cherish our weekly date nights! My primary love language is quality time, so trust me when I say, if I don’t have it, I turn into a completely different person! Our date nights are a nice break from staring at a computer screen all day long and it gives us the chance to really connect with each other. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but too many times, whether you’re a mommy, a business owner or both, we just let life get in the way. Take that time to be present. Shut down the brain, enjoy your sweetheart and cater to each other. You two are each other’s #1 priority and that time alone is always necessary. 🙂

2.Learn to say no. 

This is something I definitely struggle with, so I know how difficult this one is. Nevertheless, I’m going to say this with SO MUCH love….Honey…sweetheart, pumpkin pie…you are NOT superwoman. You canNOT do it all! We can’t intentionally set aside time for our spouse if we find ourselves saying ‘yes’ to every single inquiry. Think about it: how can you expect to get to a date night if you’re all over the place?!? I’m all for us wanting to make businesses profitable and sustainable, but the time will come when enough is enough and you just have to take a break. When you burn the  candle at both ends, not only will your spouse suffer, but you will too. You have to find peace in knowing that what God has for you is for YOU. Saying no to one client will not only allow to make even more room for your ideal client, but it will also allow you to say yes to your two most important clients…the one staring back at you in the mirror and the one you share a last name with. 🙂

and finally

1.Remember your first ministry.

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded that balancing both my business and marriage becomes a lot easier when I remember the order of importance. I want my business to change the way we women see each other. I want God to use this business to minister to the hearts of all of us and while that is important, it’s not as important as my first ministry, which is my marriage. Y’all. Being married is simply magical. It’s such a rich and honorable adventure to experience and whether we as married folks realize it or not, we are always being watched. You never know who is watching you and shaping their views on marriage based on what you show them. Yes my business has a great purpose, but so does my marriage and because of those two great purposes, not learning how to balance them both just simply can’t be an option for me. Remembering to give your marriage the reverence it deserves will not only help you become a better wife, but it will also become a better businesswoman, making the other 4 tips incredibly easy.

Girlfriend listen, I get it. I do. I totally get it. There are going to be plenty of late nights and early mornings…a LOT of cups of coffee and even more glasses of wine. This is your passion and there are times where you will have to pour you all into it to achieve the success you’ve been praying for. And yes I know that even when you are “not working” your mind is still working. By taking time to work out, spend time with your family and making sure you do not burn out, you will start to notice that sometimes you solve your toughest problems on that morning run, while having lunch with your girlfriends, watching your baby sleep peacefully or even lying in bed with your honey. Finding that balance may not be an exact science, but you should never put off til tomorrow the fun you can have today. Who wants to be all work and no play!?! It will have to be tweaked along the way, but I believe in you! So go forth and be great! You SO got this!! 🙂